Q. In your book, "The Bullying Epidemic", you stated, "Parents need to be proactive," how would you advise a parent to handle a situation if their child was being bullied? What if their child was the bully?
I'd like to preface this by pointing out that today's bullies are not the same as the bullies that the parents may remember. It frustrates me to hear a parent or teacher minimize the abuse by saying something like, "Boys will be boys." or "They'll sort this out- it's just kid stuff."
Today's bully has evolved. They are more sophisticated with a wider reach- thanks to the help of technology. Social media sites like Facebook and Twitter are being used as weapons of terrorism. These bullies are unrelenting with a cruelty that is alarming. They can inflict 24 hour torture. This reflects in the rise in suicide among children that were bullied. And let's not forget the children that just "snap" from the abuse and become violent. The majority of school shootings have been linked to bullying. Parents need to recognize the warning signs, intervene immediately when bullying occurs and send the message that bullying wrong and will not be tolerated.
At the first sign of bullying: Report the incident to the right person (the school might consider identifying an official contact, who may be the school administrator, or a member of the school safety committee). Find out the school policy on bullying. If there is none in place, the parent can share these guidelines:
Intervene immediately. Separate the students involved. Do not immediately ask about or discuss the reason for the bullying or try to sort out the facts. Request more information. Get the facts. Speak to students involved (participants and observers) in the incident separately and ask what happened. Tell the students you are aware of their behavior. Talk to the students involved separately. Make it a teachable experience. Helping bystanders understand what has happened and why may be important for preventing future incidents.
And always, always follow up!
For the Student Who Was Bullied:
Check in regularly with the student.
Determine whether the bullying still continues
Provide a supportive environment
Review the school rules and policies with the student to ensure they are aware of their rights and protection
Consider referring them for professional or other services as appropriate
For the Student Who Bullied Others
Identify the behavior
Review the school rules and policies with the student
Ask for positive change in future behavior
Consider referring them for professional or other services as appropriate
Consider appropriate graduated consequences
Encourage the student to channel their influence and behavior into positive leadership roles
Monitor and check in frequently
Q. At what age did you become a victim of bullying?
I was seven years old. I was a shy child and being bullied was an extremely traumatic experience. I cried for hours when I wrote the book. During those two years, my life was sad and lonely. It robbed me of my childhood innocence.
Q. What are ways, in your opinion, that people can bring awareness to bullying?
Everyone needs to step up to the plate. As in the wise African proverb, "It takes a whole village to raise a child." If you suspect abuse- investigate.
Speak up! If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
Q. Now in your book, you mentioned that bullying can begin in Pre-Kindergarten. In my opinion, that's a very young age; where do you think children at the young of an age learn such a thing?
In today's society, from children's television to movies and games, mean behavior is glamorized. Speaker and author Barbara Coloroso (http://kidsareworthit.com) claims we are living in a “culture of mean.” She says it’s imperative to acknowledge bullying regardless of age because the behavior often progresses.
Q. Have you been in contact with any of the people who used to bully you?
No. I have no desire to see any of those people. I'm quite sure they have grown up to be adult bullies.
Q. What book are you currently reading?
That would be books-plural. I have very eclectic taste in my books. Right now I am reading Two Graves by D.A. Graystone. Ironically it's about a serial killer who "snapped" due to bullying. I'm also reading 'The Love You Crave' by John Locke. It's a crazy adventure with a hit man and a host of unique characters. And I just started reading 'The Raised' a paranormal, supernatural adventure by Allen Renfro. I do love the paranormal.
Q. Do you have a certain amount of books you would like to read or write for the year of 2012?
I will read as many as I can devour. I love to read. I write book reviews too-but only for books that I really like. I won't write a bad review. There are enough mean critics out there. Just kidding! I know there is a place for constructive criticism but I'd rather not be that person.
Q. What or who inspired you to become an author?
The books that I read as a child opened a whole new universe for me. I read books like 'Jungle Book' and ' Ali -Baba and the Forty Thieves and felt like had I traveled to exotic places like India and ancient Persia. Even books like the Trixie Belden series and Nancy Drew were like windows to different worlds and lifestyles outside of my own.
Q. Are you currently working on any novels? If so, can you tell us about them?
Yes, I am working on the second book in the 'Magical Adventure' saga. It's a young adult, paranormal adventure. There are ghosts and mysticism along with more adventures in astral projection. I am also working on "Vacation Gone Wild", which is a fun romance adventure novel, based in Spain. I would say it is in the 'Chick Lit' genre'.
Q. Lastly, what advice would you give to someone who is being bullied?
Tell an adult you trust-your parent, teacher, counselor. If your teachers don't do anything, talk to your principal. Telling is not tattling. If you stay silent you only protect the bully and leave the victim in harms way.
Speak up against bullying. Say something like, “Stop it.”
Walk away. Act like you do not care, even if you really do.
Stick together. Staying with a group might help.
Always remember...You are not alone. It is not your fault. Nobody should be bullied! Talk to someone you trust. Do not hurt yourself. Do not bully back. Do not bully anyone else. Do not let the bully win. Keep doing what you love to do.
There are some great websites with resources and advice.
http://www.stopbullying.gov/
http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/
http://www.antibullying.net/
Visit Kathleen's website here.
To buy Kathleen's books.
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